So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
