i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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