Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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