Well apparently he's into motor boating.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
