He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When did angry sex become our thing?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
