Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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