But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
