i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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