how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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