I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
