Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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