Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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