Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
