Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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