what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
