How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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