I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
