his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
