I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
