Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
