I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
