white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.