Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

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(818): View more from California

I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.

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(217): View more from Illinois

so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it

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(609): View more from New Jersey

is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.

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(406): View more from Montana

Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing

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(805): View more from California

I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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(585): View more from New York

Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?

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