Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

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(619): View more from California

i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

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(419): View more from Ohio

its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

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(440): View more from Ohio

omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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(631): View more from New York

Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.

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(850): View more from Florida

I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.

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