Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?

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  (304): ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to? http://tfl.nu/yov7
  Replies (25) Good night (1027) Bad night (2821)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.

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  (360): Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down. http://tfl.nu/bwrh
  Replies (17) Good night (6842) Bad night (999)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

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  (860): at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!" http://tfl.nu/hob5
  Replies (12) Good night (5702) Bad night (1324)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

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  (610): yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely http://tfl.nu/qwih
  Replies (7) Good night (2970) Bad night (1062)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.

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  (828): Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid. http://tfl.nu/baq0
  Replies (2) Good night (1062) Bad night (2023)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.

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  (250): I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown. http://tfl.nu/tv3d
  Replies (40) Good night (7563) Bad night (1285)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame

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  (989): He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/n7tj
  Replies (6) Good night (5487) Bad night (1295)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  To be honest, kinda.

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  (708): For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly? (773): To be honest, kinda. http://tfl.nu/5ciz
  Replies (13) Good night (1622) Bad night (4060)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out

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  (+61): You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out http://tfl.nu/lg4i
  Replies (7) Good night (2253) Bad night (851)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?

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  (603): Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message? http://tfl.nu/3a2d
  Replies (3) Good night (1401) Bad night (564)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!

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  (815): I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!! http://tfl.nu/xnab
  Replies (20) Good night (1152) Bad night (703)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.

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  (570): I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight. http://tfl.nu/86fz
  Replies (7) Good night (1002) Bad night (560)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.

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  (518): Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/0iat
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (623)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday

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  (434): All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday http://tfl.nu/0n0q
  Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (341)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You can wear anything you want

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So... Naked it is then

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  (262): You can wear anything you want (704): So... Naked it is then http://tfl.nu/h72c
  Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (342)

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