Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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  (404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu
  Replies (26) Good night (5438) Bad night (959)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

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  (321): I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/p7vn
  Replies (39) Good night (842) Bad night (4691)
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  (805): View more from California

  We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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  (805): We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened. http://tfl.nu/qapw
  Replies (20) Good night (9516) Bad night (912)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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  (904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan
  Replies (18) Good night (6202) Bad night (1548)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.

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  (513): He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets. http://tfl.nu/5i0f
  Replies (7) Good night (6257) Bad night (1105)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.

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  (501): As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story. http://tfl.nu/lu21
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (2362)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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  (508): You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up. http://tfl.nu/f7oz
  Replies (4) Good night (2144) Bad night (604)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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  (850): Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean? http://tfl.nu/rbfp
  Replies (5) Good night (897) Bad night (496)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?

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  (208): So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/wzsh
  Replies (6) Good night (697) Bad night (474)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time

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  (616): Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time http://tfl.nu/1l71
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (403)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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  (609): If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days. http://tfl.nu/rcu1
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (286)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...

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  (517): So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys... http://tfl.nu/celz
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (299)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat

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  (310): I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat http://tfl.nu/7mqh
  Replies (1) Good night (984) Bad night (246)
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  (607): View more from New York

  i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.

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  (607): i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day. http://tfl.nu/27ze
  Replies (1) Good night (868) Bad night (181)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.

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  (832): Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial. http://tfl.nu/mqvg
  Replies (1) Good night (138) Bad night (408)

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