I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?