My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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