Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
