I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
