I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He passed out mid-signature
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
