you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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