You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
