seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize