they need to just BURY HIM!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
