i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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