He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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