Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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