Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
