I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
