and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
