Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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