Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize