no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
