I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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