This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
