So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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