My brain says no but my pants say off.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
