pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
