Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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