we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize