i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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