wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
