we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
