so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize