i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
not ubering you a puppy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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