So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
