I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
