well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
