I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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