i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
