He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
