drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
