a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
