i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
as a side note pls kill me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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