Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
