It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
