your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
