My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
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had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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