i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
