Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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